I sometimes wonder what would happen if i completely stopped initiating conversations with my friends. I would still talk to them when addressed first by them, I just wouldn't initiate anything. Would I have any friends? I can't be the only person who has ever wondered this. I'm just kind of hesitant to put it into practice. Its a lonely thought.

tunes!

i posted this on my last.fm... but i am kind of bored and procrastinating (and there is going to be one change), sooooooooo

10 favorite albums of 2007

1. Cloud Cult- The Meaning Of 8 (song: purpose)
2. The National- Boxer (song: slow show)
3. Great Lakes Myth Society- Compass Rose Bouquet (song: queen of the barley fool)
4. Jeremy Enigk- The Missing Link (song: canons)
5. Chris Garneau- Music For Tourists (song: black and blue)
6. Band Of Horses- Cease To Begin (song: cigarettes wedding bands)
7. Bright Eyes- Cassadaga (song: hot knives)
8. Aesop Rock- None Shall Pass (song: coffee)
9. Stars- In Our Bedroom After The War (song: barricade)
10. Spoon- Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga (song: don't make me a target)

not a great year for music, in my opinion. hopefully 2008 gives us something more.

girls! (nice guy v. pushover)

so i promised myself that this wasnt going to be a blog that turns into a journal complaining about girls, and i intend to keep that promise. im not going to complain about anything or anyone, in that regard. i'm not even going to talk about any one girl specifically. just a relationship problem that i, and guys like myself, face.

i consider myself a "nice guy". you know, the kind who might "finish last". but after a little thought, i think actually i am not a nice guy. i'm more of a pushover. and i think a lot of "nice guys" are actually pushovers.

we think because we bend over backwards to do anything for girls, because we fall in love so quickly and our hearts stay so faithful, because we sacrifice a lot in relationships to make our girlfriends happy, that these actions make us nice, or worse yet, that they make us good boyfriends. they can contribute to it, IF we stand up for ourselves and do things to make US happy too. i think thats why it seems lots of girls go for smooth talking, self-serving assholes. they have confidence. they know they deserve to be treated right, so they act that way. women are natually attracted to confidence (at least according to Mystery on that one vh1 show). If a dude acts confident, i think a woman will respect him, and like him more. if hes a pushover, then she will push. its pretty simple. we need to know that we deserve to be happy in relationships as well. its the only way things will ever work.

books!

books i want to read:

on the road- kerouac
the dharma bums- kerouac
big sur- kerouac
gravity's rainbow- pychon
the crying of lot 49- pynchon
light in august- faulkner
the sound and the fury- faulkner
naked lunch- burroughs
for whom the bell tolls- hemingway
the sun also rises- hemingway
the fountainhead- rand
live for a living- wakefield


whenever i go to borders (or b&n, or any bookstore, really), i feel overwhelmed by their massive selection of books and my brain just stops working. somehow i meander over to the music section, probably drooling and glassy-eyed, and either end up buying a cd that i have already downloaded or an autobiographical book by a music critic (tonight it was love is a mixtape by rob sheffield). i dont think there is anything inherently wrong these books. i have enjoyed every chuck klosterman book. nothing feels good was alright, i guess (or, it was when i was 19 and really enjoyed taking back sunday). i cant wait to buy perfect from now on when it comes out on paperback (even though i read about half of it tonight in the store... thats another problem with me; i need to own books. borrowing them from the library and then giving them back doesnt really work for me. i like seeing them on my bookshelf. they are my little paper trophies.) its just that the music section is a 10 foot by 5 foot shelf... if that. and most of it is total garbage (how many different Slash biographies do we really need?). i know there are probably at least 300 or so books that i have not yet read (that are not called harry potter, because i read all of those... twice) that i really need to. so i will keep adding to this list. any suggestions are more than welcome.